Foolish Wisdom

Okay okay... it's time that I spilled the beans to the masses. It's building up inside and I need to get it out!

I have quit my job at CSC Australia to work for a smaller company.

I can't put this message on Facebook because I currently have clients linked to me there and I've been ordered not to tell them in case the news causes them any panic. All in all it's been a great experience at CSC but the way they are going I just don't think it's right for my career.

The past year I've been left by myself as the only CSC rep on the client's site - even after asking for a grad to help me out I was turned down. So they can't tell me now that I didn't warn them and they can't blame me for leaving as they want me to continue the next phase alone and this time without a CSC PM to filter all the political crap I may get from the client/vendor. No thanks! You would think the counter offer would be a large sum of money - however no I just get a promise of "... in 4 months you could have been promoted to Senior AP". 5 f$%#ing years at a company should have brought me that by now but no - I've been royally shafted in some ways. Now reflecting on my career - I think I should have left yonks ago well at least a year ago! I only realised how 'unqualified' I was when I started looking for work! This made me think twice about staying at CSC - I would rather the skills than the bills at this moment in life. It sorta reminds me of the saying - give a man some fish and you feed him for a day - show a man how to fish and you feed him for life (sorta thing you get what I mean). It's the skills that I need to get back - to stay current in our IT game.

Resigning was harder than I thought. I think I'm going to be more emotional on my last day at CSC. I've walked a few guys out of CSC for their last time - and most have shed a tear or two and to think I will be one of those guys in about 4 weeks time!

Been a long time since I last posted :) but since I have absolutely nothing to do at work - I'm back to blogging!

5. Die Hard 4.0 - Justin Long's Character seems to instantly knows how to control computer systems for a power grid even though he didn't build it nor is he a power grid employee.
4. Hacking always involves writing a whole lot of 'code' (a lot of the time is just HTML) and then somehow jumps to a brute force attack of a login screen.
3. Computer systems always either are very nice looking with lots of geometric shapes that move or they try to look good and would have been better with just a simple UNIX prompt.
2. Screen writers who do not do enough research on the technology they are writing about and think they can fool people.
1. Hacking using some bruteforce attack from a laptop only takes a matter of minutes or hours.

Wow it's been almost a year since my last blog entry!!!

Anyway I'm so annoyed at some people's ignorance online. It all started when I was reading this article on news.com.au. In short it's about birds somewhere in Perth dropping dead out of the sky apparently in large amounts. Scientists (yeah the actual experts) are baffled to what actually killed the birds. They came up with a few theories such as poisons etc etc.

There are comments sections to some of the articles written on news.com.au - and I decided to reply on the comments thread to someone who theorised that the birds probably died of flying into natural occurring gasses that probably comes out of the ground. While this theory probably could work (highly unlikely though unless they were confined in an area or there was a lot of gas which would not only kill birds but most things in the way) - I just can't believe it and I basically said I think the poison theory is more viable. Nonetheless, I guess my reply didn't sit well with an Andrew of Sydney. Who thought I was being patronising - maybe I was, maybe I wasn't, in any case the guy is stupid ignoramus! He theorises that the birds are dying from a conspiracy theory called 'Chemtrails'. OMFG!!!!! Chemtrails is the most ridiculous thing I've heard!!! It's up there with the Church of Scientology lot. Chemtrail believers claim that governments are trying to conspire against their own populace by 'crop dusting' them with Chemicals - believed to aid in 'mind control'.

Maybe I am writing this blog because I am already being mind controlled by these so called chemtrails wooooo-freaky-shit-wooooo. Gee I'm all for people with their own opinion but not when it's blatantly stupid like that. I would even go so far as believing it an act of God before believing that something called Chemtrails did this.

There is a naturally and scientifically proven fact about what Chemtrails are. Chemtrails are of course the water vapour/condensation that is caused by jet planes flying really fast at high altitudes. Sorta like skywriting but naturally occuring. Which brings me to say to Andrew of Sydney - I am not ignorant - you are - so ner!!! If you know anything basic about science you would not even believe in such non-sense. Why on Earth would a government 'poison' it's people with such a stupid way of delivery. It's costly and non effective - especially if there's a big wind. Think hard - if you were going to poison someone with some mind controlling agent - wouldn't be easier to add it to the water and use something that even water filters cannot filter out. Mind control is easier done in scare campaigns through yes the 'idiot' box (aka the Television in case some ignoramus is reading this) and probably through the Interweb for people like Andrew - since they believe everything they read.


References:
http://www.news.com.au/comments/0,23600,21035741-2,00.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemtrail_theory

Long time no blog. Seems like I say that a lot hehehe. Woah it's my first week of being a team leader. I forgot how big my team has grown. I keep thinking it's just the guys in Sydney which has grown to 7 people and then another 3 in Newcastle. Plus we're getting another two grads.

Good thing I'm only a deputy - so the stress is temporary. The only bad thing is no one has trained me in using any management tools - which is slightly annoying because I had to figure out everything myself. Oh wells. I hope this is a step in the right direction to being a Project manager. I don't really care much for being a support team leader. I'm just glad I don't have command of the other Java team - since everyone from that team has virtually resigned and they are so under resourced it's not funny.

Hopefully I can get more experience managing people.

Wow it's been a while since I've blogged. As I always say it's good therapy to blog, to get all the stuff that is on your mind out there.

I finally found the courage and opportunity to tell her what's been on my mind last night. The relief and pain swirled in me, deep into my very soul. It feels like the mountain on my shoulders have been lifted but only to have my heart pierced by a thousand arrows.

What do you do when the road you travel feels wrong?
What if it leads you to a place you don't belong?
How do you find that place that you've longed for?
How would you know when you're there?

The memories of you will always be a part of me. You are always a part of me.

This song cracks me up. I think it's was originally written in mandarin. The mandarin version of this song is not too bad - very cute type of pop music I suppose - the type with a tune that sticks in your head like chewing gum under your shoe. However, the English version is hiliarious!!! Here's the English translated version hehehe...


When the day I hear your voice
I have some special feelings
Let me always think - I don't wanna forget you
I remember at the day
You're always on my mind
Even though I just can't think about you

If the day in the future
Does love will be coming true
I'll never change my mind
I will love you for-ev-er

I don't care how fool it is
I will let my dream come true
I will tell you something I wanna let you know
I let you know - oh

Chorus:
[start chorus]
I love you, loving you
As the mouse-oh loves the rice
Even every day has storm
I will always by your side

I miss you, missing you
I don't care how hard it is
I just want you be happy - everything...
I do it for you
[end chorus]

You can download it here - these are not my links so don't sue me for copyright infringements.....

English-guy version of Mouse Loves Rice (sung by Daniel Choi) http://s30.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=3O071P62D3QKZ2XNT01W5OQCWK

English-girl version of Mouse Loves Rice http://s8.yousendit.com/d.aspxid=0V0DDMP1JHCQR3DRPJTHHICAL8

Mandarin-girl version http://s8.yousendit.com/d.aspxid=34OYLCHFTWQPL0C7BUCETYZ5ZB

Mandarin-guy version http://s8.yousendit.com/d.aspxid=1NL8ZLUIUCT0F3QWILLB33L3D6

Mandarin-Twins version http://s11.yousendit.com/d.aspxid=1MPWKLWDO04UQ0KWS6N2S1ERBY

Cantonese-Twins version http://s22.yousendit.com/d.aspxid=27YV0UVLM50753EF3HLLIKF9DJ

Recently, I've been really really involved with a PC game called Rome: Total War. It's basically a historic type war strategy game. The game takes you back to ancient Rome. So I've been researching about ancient roman wars and warcraft. In a few online texts (and in the game) I am amused by how the Romans would justify their conquests on Gaul (Germanic Tribes aka. The Gallic People). They would market their cause by telling the Roman people that the Gaul is a land of hairy barbarians that lurk in the woods waiting and plotting to destroy anything that is civilised. Of course nowadays an excuse like that to wage war on another would be largely seen as uneccessary aggression - or is it? If we draw a parallel with the ancient Romans and modern day U.S.A. we will see the same sort of tactic to sell war to their own people. The Romans - We must destroy these hairy barbarians who live only to destroy everything that is civilised! The United States of America - We must destroy these terrorists who live only to destroy everything that represents, and is freedom!

I'm such a bad blogger! I guess the less you see me here means the less troubles I have in my life. Well that's not completely true - it's just now I have someone else to bother with my troubles. I can't sleep - something is troubling me inside. I was sleepy and then suddenly it vanished and I have this weird and awful feeling. Not sure how to describe it. At the moment I'm lost for words. Hmmm I should really sleep - I have a client visiting me tomorrow. I can't look like a panda. Night.

The following is a rushed written complaint and submitted through Legion Cabs' feedback system (http://www.legioncabs.com.au).

On friday night/saturday morning (3/12-4/12) I had an incident where I had to wait more than an hour for one of your cabs. I called up for a cab, within 15-20minutes of waiting I called back to check on the status. I was assured by the operator that a cab had been assigned, he even gave me the taxi number although I can't recall it now. A taxi did arrive shortly after the call resembling the number given to me however when I approached the taxi he told me that if I wasn't going to the city then he wasn't going to take me. I waited roughly another 15 minutes and called up again and the operator now told me that there were no taxis assigned to me yet. I told her of the situation and I had been waiting for almost an hour. I finally gave up and took the train - whilst waiting I finally got a call from one of your operators to ask me if I needed a cab 1 and a half hours after I orginally placed the call. I! would have been much more pleased with your service if you had at least called me back to inform me that no cabs could come within a reasonable time rather than let me potentially wait in the cold for 1 and 1/2 hours.

Not sure if anyone even reads this blog anymore. I'm back again - less busy in my personal schedule I guess - but still busy (if that makes any sense).

Taxis in sydney suck. Melbourne's aren't that much better either. Brisbane ones are okay. Why do they suck you ask me? After the Optus Christmas party - Caryl and I both decided that we've had enough partying and head home. We decided that we'd hail down a taxi walking back to Milson's Point station. After about 10 minutes of walking around and holding my hand up to random taxis we decided that this wasn't going to work - so we decided that we'd go into the Vibe Hotel North Sydney (opposite Milson's Point Station) and ask the concierge for a cab number. 15 minutes passed - Caryl complained about being cold and tired. Still we waited. I decided to check up on the cab. The operator told me that Cab 3814 was on it's way and will give me a call on my mobile phone when it gets there. So we waited patiently for another 15 minutes. A cab resembling the number the operator gave me pulls up.

Me: Hey buddy
Driver: Hey just wait a minute I'm going to call someone.
Me: I think you're here from me.
Driver: Uh - just wait. Are you going to the city?
Me: No - I ordered a cab to North Ryde.
Driver: If you're not going to the city then I can't take you.
Me: Oh okay.

Walking away I see a group of guys come up to the cab (they were there much later than us) they got the cab and left.

Upon seeing this I told Caryl that the cab was probably for those guys but the more I thought about it the more I suspected that the cab was really for us but wanted to make a better fare with going to the City (easier to pick up more passengers after dropping passengers off in the City). So concerned and tired, I call the number again.

Operator: Legion Cabs - Address of pickup please.
Me: No, I want to check on a cab. I ordered a cab for the Vibe Hotel North Sydney
Operator: Hold on. Tony is it?
Me: Yes - As you can probably see I've been waiting for about 45 minutes for a cab.
Operator: Oh really? Hold on I'll see if there has been any cabs assigned to you...
Me: Yes there was! This is the *third* time I've called and the last operator told me that a cab had already been assigned. I think I saw him too but he said he won't take us unless we were going into the city.
Operator: Okay sir.
Me: Look, if you can't assign a cab to me just tell me now so I can organise another company to pick us up.
Operator: We're trying our best sir.
Me: Okay. *hangs up*

At this point Caryl suggests to me that we'd be better off taking the train to the city and try our luck there plus we can always catch the last bus home.

So we decided to take the train into the city. After waiting for about 20 minutes for the train at Milson's Point, my phone rings. It's a Legion cabs operator calling to see if I still wanted a cab. I just told them no. I'm thinking geeze - by the time a cab did come after that phone call would probably another 5-10 minutes which would probably mean it would've taken us 1 and 1/2 hours to wait for a cab!!!

Anyways our badluck wasn't over. We found our way to Town Hall station. Went to check the bus time. Found out we just missed an hourly bus by about 15 minutes. So we went around looking for a cab. There must've been so many people looking for cabs at the same time. We went up and down George street. For another good 45 minutes. Gave up since it was about time for the next bus to go back to Caryl's place. Luckily the bus came on time.

Sydney not only has problems with it's rail system - its taxi system is very much broken on friday nights of course if I had have booked a day beforehand we may have not had such an experience (maybe).

Hey long time no post. So I thought I'd post up my 3 day adventure in the wonderful City of Melbourne. As most of you expect - Melbourne weather was pretty damn gloomy that weekend. It got a little bit better on the Sunday.

To begin off - I was going to Melbourne for Battlegrounds (a new interstate dance face-off between Melbourne & Sydney). Basically we subsidised coach costs for dancers in Sydney to go to Melbourne for this event. I went on this bus all the way to Melbourne and back. On the way there we had a few Crew members so it wasn't so daunting getting these kids there. Although on the way back was quite a bit of effort on my part as it was only me in authority. I had to use embarrassment as a tool to discipline those who didn't want to listen to me :) (it's pretty good).

23rd Friday July

All the dancers and Hoopdreamz crew members embarked the 61 Seater (full) Murray Coach. We were driven there by the legendary Cary (great guy). Everyone was pumped full of excitement and sugar (most probably). Some of these kids didn't even sleep on the coach - at least I did - with the help of the Blue Pill (hehehe).

We left Parramatta around 7:15 pm. The trip was smooth we stopped a few times along the way. Most notably a place near Goldburn. It was so damn cold.

24th Saturday July

We arrived in Melbourne city about an hour earlier than planned (we missed a pitstop). Seeing Melbourne CBD around 6:30 am is quite different. I felt like I was in another country already. It was so dark! I thought it was like 4 am or something untile I checked my watch (twice). The bus driver, Cary took us to 1-2 Russell Street in the City. "Yup we're here at your destination", announces Cary over the microphone. I'm thinking that was close we just passed the city - isn't Essendon (our real desitination) about 15-20 minutes out from the city centre? Mix (Hoopdreamz Managing Director) speaks out in a sleepy voice, "No Cary, it's 1-2 Russell Street in Essendon, not the City". Cary, "Oh really - it has here on my slip the City - Okay let's go there". So we drive there and about 7 ish in the morning we get to Essendon at our venue. It was raining lightly - all of us tried to huddle under this small roof shelter over the steps of the venue. Claudia (Mix's little sister) told me that she wanted to go to the little girls' room - so I accompanied her to the trainstation (across the street from us). Anyways before I could go with her into the station, Mix calls me and orders me and her to get on the bus and babysit some dancers to their hotel. So we take them to their hotel - with our luggage. Organised for a pick up with other crew members who were already in Melbourne. I least I didn't have to set up the hall - which I did want to do but I was so dead. When I went back to our crew member's hotel I just crashed out for about half an hour.

Vince who picked us up told me he had to take the other crew members to the venue to help get set up - for some reason he didn't come back for us until after 1:30 pm. Although he and another crew member (Marco) called me up to get some stationary. So I went with Claudia and Jeffery (another dancer) around in Melbourne's CBD - armed with a map and some directions I got from the concierge in reception of the hotel lobby. I was in search for some neckchains (for ID tags), Blank Mini DV tapes, and cue cards. I of course hadn't had anything to eat since 6 pm the previous night - so I was starved - I think Claudia was the same as me. We just had maccas (cheap and so easily available) and we needed a quick fix. Finished our gorge of fat and sugar - we continued on our exploration of Melbourne CBD. Went to a few stores thinking they would have what we needed but they didn't so we had to go all the way to Officeworks. Jeffery said he needed to unload (number 2) so he headed back to the hotel. So it was me and Claudia trying to find Officeworks - which shouldn't be so difficult except we walked all over the place and I got the street names mixed up - Little Bourke Street and Bourke Street - so we were walking up and down lost like confused tourists. Finally I figured it out. I went with my gut instinct and we found it hehehe. I'm usually a pretty good navigator - especially with maps - but for whatever reason (maybe it was because I was a little dizzy) I was disorientated.

The Night was largely successful. Overall Sydney won Battlegrounds on the points system. Although Melbourne had the best RnB dance crew- Rewind. Sydney had the best Breakdance Crew SKB. We found out that Leo from Battle of the Year Germany was in the audience - checking out our competition - what an honour!

The highlight of the night has to be the "Bragging Rights" - The Final State battle - this is a Hip Hop dance battle - totally freestyle RnB + Breakdancing. Sydney totally took Melbourne by surprised by the great form and preparation. You got Served - Aussie Style.

There was supposed to be an after party at Next Blue in the Crown Casino - although I was so pooped. Apparently 1000+ rocked up. Too bad we don't get a cut of the after party sales as well hehehe.

After clean up - we proceeded to Mix's woman's hotel to unload our luggage - I told Mix that I couldn't go party so I opted to sleep on the sofa bed - had a shower etc. I was watching tv (Melbourne tv is different in some ways) this was already 2am in the morning.

25th Sunday July

The next thing I noticed was it was morning - about 8 am. Some children show was on. I must've just fell asleep with the tv on. Mix already had came and gone. I had to check out of the hotel for his woman. It was quite a nice hotel. I was called up by Claudia that morning telling me that Vince isn't able to drive her and me to Essendon - so I told her to come meet me at my hotel lobby at 9am so we can take the train to Essendon. She turns up at 9:30am (30 minutes late) waiting for Vince who drops her off at some other street. So by the time we meet up it was like 9:40 am. I was told by the hotel Concierge that I should walk to the Flinders Street station instead of using Melbourne central (which is closer to the hotel where I was) but he advised that there was construction going there and I might get confused - so I took his advice and we proceeded to walk to Flinders Street Station. It was in viewing distance but because I had to carry two heavy hand luggages (one mine, one claudia's) as well as my own heavy backpack, it took us about 15 minutes to get there. We were told that the Essendon train will leave platform 4. I started panicking because we didn't have much time left to get to Essendon - the bus was scheduled to leave at 11am. So I jumped on a train leaving platform 5 (because on platform 5 it had time tables for Essendon) - but I checked with one of the passengers and he said it's definitely on Platform 4. So Claudia and me waited for the Essendon train. Without thinking twice I told Claudia that the train that was pulling up in Platform 4 was our train. We boarded thinking - phew - we should have heaps of time. Then I was a bit worried because I looked on the rail map and found out that there are two train lines going that direction. So I kept a close eye on the stations we passed - and to my worse predictions we were on the wrong train line going in the same direction. I told Claudia we don't have much time let's get off the train and catch a cab into Essendon - as we were close by. We got off the station proceeded along this road at Brunswick Station (Victoria Road). I thought I saw a Taxi rank since there were heaps of Taxis parked down the street. Claudia and I lugged our bags slowly moving closer to the Taxis - I was thinking "Wow this is lucky" but it turns out it was a Smash Repair Shop that does works for the Taxi company. But since we didn't know the number for a taxi - we looked on the side of one of these taxis and called them up for a pick up. I told the lady exactly which corner to pick us up saying that we were near the Brunswick Station. She must've heard just "Brunswick Station" because we waited like 15 minutes - I hailed down a taxi thinking it was ours. The taxi driver asked me did we order a taxi. I said yes thinking it was our taxi. But it turns out he wasn't our taxi and he said he couldn't pick us up since we already ordered a taxi. Dammit! I rang back again - another lady told me that a taxi was dispatched to Brunswick station and didn't find anyone. I told her to dispatch another one on the corner of Victoria Road and (I think Percy street) at the Victoria Hotel. We waited a good 5-10minutes - still nothing. At this time we were very desperate because some people were calling us asking where we were. I hailed down another taxi going the other way. Stood in the middle of the road till he stopped completely. I told him I was desperate to get a taxi and that we've been waiting a good 25 minutes. So he did a U-ey and picked up Claudia and my stuff. We proceeded to Essendon with less than 10 minutes to spare. Finally got to the venue at Essendon - everyone was waiting for us. I apologised - asked the dancers and some crew members if everyone was there. Then we headed to the City yet again (thinking back I should've just stayed at the City) to pick up some dance groups (the ones I accompanied with to their hotel the day before). Turns out their hotel was just down the road from mine. Anyways packed them on - we left a sunny Melbourne around 12pm. Got to Parramatta Sydney around 11:30 pm. I had to go to work the next morning hehehe I was so out of it!

So cooool. I somehow managed to get myself into a job interview but this time I'm not the one being interviewed - I'm gonna be the Interviewer hehehehe! I've been on the other side of the table long enough - now it's my turn to interrogate those desperately in need of a job MUAHAHAHHAHAHA!

Now to think of all the questions I can ask to make the person squirm in the hot seat hehehehe!!!

I like this song...

"Love will keep us alive"

I was standing all alone against the world outside.
You were searching for a place to hide.
Lost and lonely, now you have given me the will to survive.
When we're hungry - Love will keep us alive.
Don't you worry - Sometimes you gotta let it ride.
The world is changing right before your eyes.
Now I've found you - there's no more emptiness inside.
When we're hungry - Love will keep us alive.

I will die for you.
Climb the highest mountain.
Baby - There's nothing I wouldn't do.

Now I've found you - there's no more emptiness inside.
When we're hungry - Love will keep us alive.

I will die for you.
Climb the highest mountain.
Baby - There's nothing I wouldn't do.

I was standing all alone against the world outside.
You were searching for a place to hide.

Woo have to end this post prematurely - Caryl's calling.

Life has been busy but I am still alive!

Life has been good!

Top 5 things that are good in my life:

1. Caryl
2. I got a huge raise this year! I couldn't believe it when I was told!
3. Caryl (hehehe)
4. Rented out my room!!! yay! finally!
5. Hoopdreamz Enterprises is growing and getting better everyday.

It seems like when I'm happy - I have hardly anything to write here. Oh wellz! I hope you all are having a good time like me :)

Lately my life has been pretty damn good. Finally, I'm enjoying it a bit more. I have found someone special. Sometimes when I'm holding her in my arms with my eyes closed - I feel the urge to open them again just to see that I'm not dreaming. If I am dreaming - I wish never to be awaken.

Just thought I'd dedicate this blog entry to the brave men and women who had sacrifice their lives in defending this lucky country of ours and making it possible for future generations to enjoy freedom. The freedom we so easily enjoy now was paid with the blood of Australian & New Zealand Service Men and Women. Not only would I like to show my appreciation to those who fell - I would like to give thanks to those who fought and returned - You are all heroes to me!

I had a BBQ with some friends on Sunday at Parramatta Park. It was nice - they got to meet Caryl. I think I surprised a few people - too bad she came so late - so she didn't really get to mingle with any of my friends - Ah well there will be other times. By the way, Parramatta park is huge - I really liked it there - after the BBQ everyone left - Caryl and I just hung out there - good place if you like hanging out in parks.

I met Caryl's parents last night. Her dad was pretty cool - didn't really say much to me actually. But her mum asked me a million questions - woah...! hahaha but I turned on my charms and I think I impressed her *fingers crossed*. Things are going pretty well. Her birthday is coming up this week so it's my chance to gain some more 'brownie points' hahaha.

I have a feeling this blog is going to be less and less interesting for those who do read it hahaha. No one wants to read about the 'good' things :)

The SYDNEY Groove 2004 Dance Challenge was a success!!! Thanks to my home boyz and girlz @ HD - You guys are da bestest hehehe...

Here are some photos a mate helped me take ...

Link 1
Link 2

Other things to be thankful for:

Met a girl - Dating the girl - No, it's not the girl I write about here

I'm on Training for two weeks - so cool!

Acoustic Live on track to start on May 22 - It's going to be another sold out event! But this one is a much more intimate event. Please tell me if you are interested! Tickets will be selling soon!

Hung out with Joel Turner - even though he's only a 17 year old kid - he's a pretty funny chap. I hope he'll remember me when he's really famous!!!

I got a message from a stranger yesterday on tickle.com

What was weird was it was a girl (hahaha) who wanted to get to 'know' me better - just because she admire my profile. So we started chatting on MSN. She seems nice although a bit annoying at time.

Other news....

2 guys from my dept got retrenched today. 17 guys from defence (my former dept) got retrenched today. Very scary. I'm wondering why I'm still around sometimes.

It's been hectic for the last few weeks. Hence the absence of my posts. Today I am on after hours support - so I can't go anywhere till 12am. Anyways. What's the deal with this entry's title? - Well I finally got to have coffee with 'her'. I couldn't say no when I saw the sms on my phone.

Tony, still wanna hang for coffee or something?

BOY, DO I!?!?!

I offered to pick her up from Blacktown station. As I was pulling up, I was on the phone to her and I didn't recognise her at all. I was like huh? Woah... she's HOT! I think she lost some weight or something. Not that she wasn't hot before - it was never an issue - but she just like was stunningly beautiful in the afternoon sun.

So we end up in parramatta - city extra, where the food is expensive and the menu looks like a newspaper. So I'm there with her talking - and in my mind I'm thinking Ohhh man I can't believe I'm having coffee with her! Suddenly someone catches my eye. It's my good friend, M. I was like woah! What's he doing here? So as anyone with manners would do, I called him over to say hi. So he's like what are you doing here? And then he spots 'her'. He actually knows 'her' as well. She is actually one of our friend's cousins. So back to the story. My friend has this big stupid grin on his face - the one that reads "Hahahaha Tony is on a date!" He says Hi to her - greets her with a kiss and as soon as she turns to face me he starts making these faces at me and pointing at her and then giving me the thumbs up and I ask him if he would like to join me and her. So he's goes "Nah I don't want to interrupt you guys". I'm like "no no - come on join us". Anyways she turns around and catches a glimpse of him pulling faces and pointing at her as he's walking inside of City Extra. So there was this awkward pause between us. I apologised for my friend - telling her that he's just being an idiot. The night went on pretty well - until she brings up that she still really likes that guy. I'm like, Oh here comes the daggers at my heart again she's asking me for advice. Keeping my cool I deliver my Dr Phil type analysis of the situation which I think confused her more than clearing up her issues. She tells me that even though he's got a girlfriend that she still wants to be with him when he comes back down to Sydney in May. Forget about the daggers - We're talking about a Jack Hammer - Hammering at my Heart now Although most would think I'm regretting that I never actually asked her out - I still don't regret that. If it was meant to be - I wouldn't have to try any harder and it would have happened or at least I would have had some sort of response back from her at the time - I think I gave the neccessary amount of interest within the neccessary amount of time - any more I think I would have chased her away, any less it would have shown a lack of interest.

The next day I was backing out of my driveway when something shiny caught my eye on the floor mat of the passenger side. So I lent over to investigate - at first I thought maybe it was some foil from packets of gum but then when I touched it, it was hard. Picking it up to examine closer - it appeared to be off some sort of jewellery. Then my mind flashed back to when she hopped into my car she managed to hook her braclet on to something and it fell off - I think it was part of it. I gave her a call and she couldn't even remember the bracelet or the incident - so she tells me not to worry about it. In a weird creepy way - it's cool to have something of her's in my car.

On saturday I met a pretty interesting guy named, Con. You see we know one of his artists, Israel (Up Coming RnB singer/songwriter). Con is also the manager for Cosima (aus idol). This guy was so cool man even though he's pretty old. He worked for Frontier (a group that brings a lot of artists to tour australia) for quite a bit in his younger days so he's got a heap of stories! He gave us a lot of advice on events management etc. I was really impressed with his history in the industry and how much I got from just 10 minutes talking with him. And of course, his recording artist - Israel - he's very very talented. He sang one of his songs he wrote when he was 16 - I couldn't believe how great it sounds!!! I was captivated - his song quality is definitely up there! So here we were, a few of us sitting on plastic outdoor furniture around the pastic round table listening to Israel jam. Now I'm thinking if Israel ever gets really famous - I could say to people - yeah that guy Israel - He sang to me once in a backyard in Kellyville. hahahah!

By the way - any of you want to learn how to dance? - RnB/Hip-Hop or Break Dancing please contact me. We're starting a dance studio - www.bouncedancestudios.com The website is not up yet hehehe - but keep an eye out. Oh by the way, NO! I'm not the instructor :) I'm gonna try to learn how to dance hahaha! We're setting up in Parramatta. Can't wait!

Oh My Oh My! I'm so excited about the lyrics in both these songs. A must to buy (or download for us poorer folks).

Eamon - Fuck It (it's about his ex gf who cheated on him)
Frankee - F U Right Back (it's her reply to his song)

Here are the lyrics


Eamon

Fuck It

Whoa oh oh
Ooh hooh
No No No

See i dont, know why, i liked you so much
I gave you all, of my trust
I told you, i loved you, now thats all down the drain
Ya put me through pain, i wanna let u know that i feel

CHORUS
Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses, it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back

Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back

You thought, you could
Keep this shit from me, yeah
Ya burnt bitch, i heard the story
Ya played me, ya even gave him head
Now ya askin for me back
Ya just another hag, look elsewhere
Cuz ya done with me

Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back

Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back

Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah

Ya questioned, did i care
You could ask anyone, i even said
Ya were my great one
Now its, over, but i do admit im sad
It hurt real bad, i cant sweat that, cuz i loved a hoe

Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back

Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah




Frankee Eamon's Ex-Girlfriend

Fuck You Right Back

Oh oh
oooh
no no no

(You know there is two sides to every story)

See I don't know why you cryin' like a bitch
talkin' shit like a snitch
why you write a song 'bout me
if you really didn't care
you wouldn't wanna share
tellin' everybody just how you feel

CHORUS
fuck What I did, was your fault somehow
fuck the presents,I threw all that shit out
don't go cryin' you didn't mean jack
well guess what yo,fuck you right back

What I did was your fault somehow
the presents,I threw all that shit out
don't go cryin' you didn't mean jack
well guess what your,fuck you right back

You thought you could really make me moan
I had better sex all alone (ha ha ha ha)
I had to do your friend
now you want me to come back
you must be smokin' crack
Im goin' else where and thats a fact

Fuck all those nights I moaned real loud
fuck it, I faked it, aren't you proud?
fuck all those nights you thought you broke my back
well guess what your,your sex was wack

Fuck all those nights I moaned real loud
fuck it,I faked it,i'll rent you out
fuck all those nights you thought you broke my back
well guess what your,your sex was wack

whoa whoa
uh uh yea

whoa whoa
uh uh yea

whoa whoa
uh uh yea

whoa whoa
uh uh yea

You questioned did I care
maybe I would howl if you wanna come to me
now it's over
but I do admit i'm glad I didn't catch your crabs
I can't swear bad cause I got to go

CHORUS
fuck What I did, was your fault somehow
fuck the presents,I threw all that shit out
don't go cryin' you didn't mean jack
well guess what yo,fuck you right back


So cool eh? hehehe

Chillin to some really really really smooth RnB albums at 4am in the morning is a really nice thing to do. I guess one good thing about living alone is that you can turn up your music (well as long as the neighbours can't hear it) at whatever time of the day. Not sure why I'm not sleeping. I can't sleep. All these songs remind me of a better time in my life. Memories of Summer '03. Memories of Summer '96-'97. Of warmer times.

I can't say I'm having a bad time these days. Things are definitely better than last year. Oh my last year was bad! Ack!

Oh I have a train story to tell. I was going into the city on friday night to one of our sponsered events (Hot n Wet @ Hyde Park Bar (aka Globe)). Anyways, I took the train into the city around 8ish. At first it was quite boring but then this nice blonde chick sits directly opposite me. Then some drunk yobbo-type comes on and sits next to her. At first I though they were together. He says hi to me and then says hi to her. I'm thinking, geeze this guy is drunk. He starts trying to stir up conversation with this blonde but she sorta ignores him. All this time in my head I'm cracking up by this guy and how he's talking about rugby league to this girl and she's not even paying any attention to him. Then we pull up to parramatta station. Some filo guy gets on and sits next to the drunk yobbo. The filo guy asks no one in particular if the train was going to the city and our drunk yobbo friend of course answered the question.

The filo guy starts talking to the drunk yobbo - he tells him that he's been training for karate. The yobbo starts saying how he'd rather watch boxing instead of karate. I'm there listening to the drunk yobbo talk about sports and stuff to this filo guy. After awhile of talking we all (everyone listening into the conversation by now) just start to notice that there's something really wrong with the conversation. The filo guy started showing some signs of being like rainman. He starts recalling facts of sports etc. I'm like wow this guy is interesting. Although he wasn't as good as this guy I use to know called Luke. Luke (I also met him on a train in brissy) could recall stats from a lot, if not all cricket games ever played. Also batting averages of all of the historical cricket players. Anyways back to karate filo kid and the drunk yobbo. The drunk yobbo doesn't seem to figure out that the filo guy has autism well that is of course until the filo guy does these really weird inhalation sounds through his mouth. Then the drunk yobbo looks at us with that face - uno the face that says, "Man the guy I'm talking to is really weird". He starts to try to ignore the filo guy but the filo guy insists on asking him sporting questions. Drunk yobbo turns his attention toward the blonde who turns out to be a british chick. Trying hard to get the attention of the blonde brit - he starts a conversation about cricket with filo guy. He starts saying how he is Mark and Steve Waugh's cousin. What I found really funny was when he turned around to the blonde brit, after he announced it to karate kid, and continued to emphasise that he is related to the cricket legends. The blonde brit replies with out eye contact, "Oh sorry, I don't follow cricket". I just found it all so surreal at the time. I could have been just watching some sort of movie. It could have been a short movie submission for eat carpet.

Okay I better sleep.

Mercy mercy...oh please have mercy on me...

That is what my poor heart is screaming.

I'm talking to 'her' again. She was on msn tonight. Oh boy. We ended up talking about her love life.

Oh the unbearable pain!

I'm there reading what she's saying and she's asking me advice about this guy that she's 'infatuated with' (her very own description). Being the nice guy that I am - I give her advice - impartial to what I feel of course - it's good advice. Although I did get to learn more about what her 'ideal' man is like. She sounds sorta like me in someways. She obsessed with the guy. Just as I am about her.

The pain ah the pain...please make it stop.

"Tony what would you do in my situation?" My mind was like oh I could tell her what I want her to do with this guy. However, I do want to see her happy.

Breakdown of the conversation:
*Me giving her advice*
Her: Tony, you are so wise
My Heart: Tony, you're a dumbass
*More good genuine advice from me*
Her: Tony, see I told you, you are wise!
My Heart: Tony, see I told you were a dumbass!

Heartbreak, Heartache.
This pain is not fake.
This feeling is so real.
When will it heal?
How will I know?
How will it go?

Haven't really been in the mood to blog lately. The beginning of the week has been really bad for me.
Monday was just upsetting.

Tuesday I left my laptop at home and didn't find out until I got to work and getting out of my car and suddenly seeing someone with a laptop - I was like !!! ARGGGGGGHHH I forgot my laptop! Anyways $7.60 and an hour later - I turn up to work with my whole team already there - don't think my boss was impressed that I didn't call in to tell him where I was - (I don't have his mobile and I don't remember his ext number either - although I do now). If any of you know CSC it has only 600 carspaces to 1200 employees (I know stupid - but it's Council policy), so when I arrived again the whole carpark was completely full and was redirected to the carspaces we hired off another company - except that is like a short drive (long walk) from where my building is. By the time it was time to go home the skies darkened and rain was everywhere. I didn't bring an umbrella so I got quite moist when I got to my car. Tuesday was definitely crappy!

Wednesday, now Wednesday was quite bad because never in my professional life have I been yelled at. It wasn't actually someone yelling at me face to face it was some guy on the phone. To appreciate the story you have to go back to last friday. My team leader says to me that I have to watch out of an email being sent by a Roger. Anyways I didn't get this email of his until 5:25pm. I must've briefly looked over it but never read it in detail. Monday came and I got in at 9:30am. I never read it again. Come Wednesday afternoon, I get a call from him. At first of course I have no idea who he is.

Phone conversation:
me: CSC, Tony speaking.
roger: Can I speak to Tony please.
me: I'm Tony, how can I help you?
roger: Hello Tony, I'm Roger Forrester.
me: Yes? How can I help you Roger?
roger: I'm Roger Forrester.
me: Okay - How can I help you Roger?
roger: I'm Roger Forrester! THE TEST MANAGER IN ADELAIDE!!!
me: Ohh sorry Roger, yes I know who you are now!
roger: How are the tests going?
me: Ermm tests? I don't think I've started them because I've been pretty busy
roger: What?!?!?! - Ah FUCK THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DONE MONDAY!!!
me: Monday?
roger: YES MONDAY!!!!
me: *checking his email* but you only sent me the email friday afternoon
roger: Have you talked to James?
me: No he hasn't approached me
roger: oh fuck... *hangs up*

Anyways after all that happens I was like. Holy shit. I just got yelled at. Although I do admit it was my fault for not reading his email properly - but I think he should've been more professional about his phone call. Plus his whole notion of time frames is way way off. I read the email in detail. He sent me the email Friday afternoon 5:25pm - his deadline was Monday 10am. Which is utterly stupid. I get in at 9:30am (like most of the support team). How am I supposed to do tests within 30mins. Wednesday was Hell!

Come Thursday I started talking to my Operations Manager about another problem and James (a project manager) was there. James started talking to me about Roger. He told me not to worry about Roger because Roger hasn't got a clue what's happening. James basically just told me he's a grumpy old fart and it wasn't my fault the deadlines weren't met simply because Optus (slackers hehehe) had not given us the content for the particular website nor the URLs to post the stuff we were supposed to be testing yet. James said he would've approached me anyways if the website was able to be tested. All that yelling and it turns out that it wasn't neccessary. My Operations manager (one of the top dogs in our dept) starting laughing so hard - I guess this happens a lot to new people - being yelled at by Roger.

Hmmm so glad I'm able to get that off my chest again (as I had already dumped this on some other people). Blog is good.

Summers will never warm my heart again.
Autumns will share my heart's pain.
Winters will mirror what's in my mind.
Springs just memories left behind.

To 'her' the one that will never be mine.

Lately...

Lately I've been taking people's jokes far too seriously. However, I think it's not just me being sensitive, I think it's also annoying when someone continuously makes insensitive jokes - I pretty much take them to heart. What hurts more is when it comes from someone you are friends with or consider friends with - up until now. Sure it's the Aussie way to put your mates down and it's sometimes recognised as Male bonding. I don't know about the other guys out there but I don't like it very much! Sure you might say I'm a bit of a lady, a bit of a girl when it comes to this issue but why does one find it enjoyable to put others down on sensitive issues as well. Does one feel like they'd be closer to a friend if they pay out on them? I'm not a invalid - but I'm quite sure if a person were friends with an invalid that they wouldn't start joking about their disabilities would they? Then why is it okay to joke about someone's negative points - especially ones they know are not easily fixed or impossible to fix.

Some of you may say GET OVER IT Tony! Sure! - I can be a man and get over it - But why should I get over it? Why do I have to be the one to accept this absurd behaviour amongst people I regard as friends? The issues I'm talking about isn't just a once off comment/joke - it's continuous, repetitive and tiring.

Sometimes, I feel that all I have is this blog. Oh and 'her' she's going to be listening to my problems tonight. Isn't she wonderful? She's on MSN now and she said she'd rather talk over the phone with me. Hey that's better than nothing.

(btw I just edited this blog because some of the stuff I said didn't make any sense - not that it makes too much sense now)

I had a slightly strange day at work today... not really sure what to make of it.

My operations manager today asked me to come see him. I was thinking "what could it be? could it be something about my new position as a support analyst? or maybe he's going to ask me to move to do some development!!! Yay!" As usual I'm pretty bad at predicting the future.

Op Boss: Tony... *points at the screen* Do you know these guys?
Me: Yes *puzzled look* I know Ken. Tim... Ermm oh yeah Tim.. I know Tim (the next comment slips out of my mouth) He's smells. Opps! Sorry *laughs nervously* I don't know Tim that much actually. I only know he smells - got pretty bad BO. Anyways what's this all about?
Op Boss: Well we're trying to pick some people over to do some development for us and we're wondering who to get so tell me more about them. Are they good?
Me: Ken yeah I know Ken, Ken's cool I've played skirmish with him. As for technical abilities he's been in defence for a long time. I'm not so sure about how he'd do in the application development area - but I'm sure he'd manage he's a smart guy. As for Tim like I said before I don't know him that well. I think he did a lot of testing.
Op Boss: Ah forget it. Tim won't be coming here then. *laughs*
Me: *confused look* Huh?
Op Boss: Yeah I don't want someone that stinks coming here!
Me: but ermm...
Op Boss: How about anybody else?
Me: Ermm... yeah I know someone perfect. Gordon Lam (hope he doesnt' mind me putting his name on the blog hehee) He's probably better than me with Java.
Op Boss: Cool. Thanks Tony!
Me: *still a little bit confused* Ermm okay, no probs.

I'm like what the!!! Hmmm okay I think I just stuffed up someone's chance to move into our area. I didn't mean to stuff him up like that. Holy Crap! But good thing is I got to recommend a friend and someone else I know. Although I didn't mean to recommend my friend at the expense of somebody else's career. However, Tim has has a lot of experience in Defence maybe I think he should just stick in defence or somewhere closer to systems engineering.

A little bit later on, I listen into my Team Leader's (differnt person to the Op Boss) conversation over the phone with a potential employee. Actually it was a job interview - because the job has only been listed internally not many people have applied for it. Anyways my team leader lets out this big sigh after talking to this guy and finds out that the guy is only interested in a short term position while he's on the bench. The applicant was actually from our branch in Newcastle and didn't really want to move to Sydney for the job. Which left us with a big headache because we're a bit short staffed in our team at the moment - plus I'm a newbie so more of a hinderance than help at the moment. My team leader looks over and goes to me "Hey Tony, do you know anybody that you would recommend in our team?" I'm like ermmm does it have to be internal?" He replies, "Nah, it's been advertised for 3 weeks internally, time it should be made external." So I say "Ohhh I do know someone from Brissy. He's a mate of mine who wanted to come down for ages but hasn't been able to - unless he found a job here." Then my team leader goes, "Perfect. That's cool then. Tell him to send me his CV and then we'll take it from there. Plus I prefer that people refer people that they know rather than us finding someone off the streets. That way the person who refers them would have to refer someone good or their reputation would be on the line." I laugh and say, "Yeah don't worry he's good - plus I want to keep my good reputation".

How's that for a strange day at work! In summary, I recommended 3 people for positions in our department and accidentally got one rejected. I do hope my friend from Brissy gets the job because I tried to get him a graduate job ages ago and he got screwed over by our HR dept (they're a bunch of idiots plus they control the graduate program). This time it's pretty much a direct hire, all we do is say this person is hired - HR you have no say because Tony recommended him, actually because you didn't do you're work properly we're going to pay Tony a spotters' fee of $1000. (CSC Company Policy fpr external employee recommendations) hehehe Yeah baby! *fingers cross that he gets the job* I could do with an extra $1000!!!

Hey all just thought I'd do some advertising here. Although I'm not sure how many people actually read this blog would be interested but can't blame a guy for trying. It's a breath of fresh air from the normal rants I have on here. :)

Hoopdreamz has a special discount for everybody! We're giving away vouchers that you can download from here and print out!!! The voucher allows the holder $10 admission (usually $30!!!!!!) to the Sydney Kings vs Victoria Giants game on the 18th Feb 2004 (Wednesday Night).

Here's the voucher you can download it by right click and 'save as'.

[click here 4 voucher in pdf] (better quality print - recommended)
[click here 4 voucher in jpg] (for people who can't open PDFs)


==============More Details================

ASIAN BASKETBALL CHALLENGE



PHILIPPINES vs CHINA

HOOPdreamz All Stars vs ACBA

Pre-game to the Sydney Kings vs Victoria Giants

18.02.04 Wednesday

Sydney Entertainment Centre



Organised by the Sydney Kings, the Asian Basketball Challenge will
feature a select group of Filipino-Australian basketball players who
have been chosen to represent the HOOPdreamz All Star Team. They will
challenge a team from China representing the Australian Chinese
Basketball Association. This is an exciting opportunity to promote
basketball within the Filipino and Chinese communities in Sydney, and
create inter-cultural ties.


LIMITED TICKETS

$10 per person (discounted from $30.00) - Secure your tickets by calling one of the numbers below. Or just print out the voucher and redeem your ticket for $10 at the box office. Redeeming tickets using vouchers is subject to availability - there are only a limited number of discounted tickets - so hurry!!!
[click here 4 voucher in pdf]
[click here 4 voucher in jpg]



GAME TIMES

Pre-game (Hoopdreamz Allstars vs ACBA) starts at 5:30pm

Main game starts (Kings vs Giants) at 7:30pm

For more information you can contact us on the below details

INFOLINE:

Marco 0410529484 Tony 0412903686

JD 0410598031 Roscille 041537820

Joanne 0410343187 Michell 0414798020

Ahhh it's early early Sunday morning and I just got back from my outing with 'her'. She kept calling me during the day to keep tabs on what was going to happen tonight. However, around 8pm she told me that she no longer was going to that surprise birthday party and that she had to work an extra hour. Then she goes she wants to go to that YFC thingy. So I offered to give her a lift from her work all the way in Ashfield (I live in Quakers Hill). This YFC is in Quakers Hill as well so that wasn't too much of a problem I suppose.

I got to Ashfield around 9:10pm. I gave her a call but she told me she had to work another 20 minutes. So I wandered around Ashfield, trying to find her work. I got bothered by some guy asking me for some change which was sort of disturbing so I decided that I had to find her workplace quickly. It wasn't hard finding her workplace. I went inside. She told me she'll be real quick. So anyways as time goes by she's finishing stuff off for her boss. And as she was working I stole a few glances at her. She is really quite cute - not that she's really really hot or anything but I think she's cute, sweet and she can really make me laugh. Humour is really important to me!

We finally arrive at the YFC thingy. It turns out a lot of people I know are there out in front of the entrance. Her cousins as well. I think everyone was surprised that I came (usually I don't go to these YFC/SFC/CFC things) and even more surprised when I arrived with 'her'. It was a very movie like situation. Even my drunk friend who pursued her on that historical night was there! And his face was like WTF?!?!? and "why is she with him?" was written all over this face of his. And I think he must've been thinking "ahhh Tony and 'her' must've went out on a Valentine's date or something". Later on in the night he kept asking me what I did earlier on during the day - I just told him "ah nothing much, cleaned the house and stuff".

In the course of the night nothing much happened really. We (her and me) played a little with balloons, hardly really talked much at YFC since it was quite loud. I think I was immensely bored - this is why I never go to these YFC/SFC/CFC type thingies. I didn't feel like dancing - it's weird I think I don't dance much these days because I don't drink much these days. It's a shame because she kept on asking me to dance - I just felt akward. So I just stood there. I've noticed something lately - I'm a pretty boring person, I've lost all means of holding an interesting light conversation face to face with another person. I was actually called 'quiet' by my new boss the other day. He doesn't even know me but his initial impression of me is that I'm quiet. Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm not quiet hehehe. But it's weird - I think I like that he thinks I'm quiet. Or maybe I have changed a bit with age - way way less extroverted and more introverted.

Coming back to the topic:
V-day 2004 - more successful than my other ones at least - I was out with a girl! (hahaha) It's not because I've been a dateless loser all this time (close to being one though) its just some strange coincidence that I've never had a gf around during V-day. So I've never in my life done anything romantic on V-day (not that tonite was very romantic). It's strange, I had a chance to buy her a rose tonight - but I chose not to. I just don't have the courage. Why is it that doing silly things like jumping off moving trains (yes i've done that before stupid I know) doesn't terrify me but doing something like buying a flower does? Anyways analysing my life is very boring. I think I'm tired. My writing doesn't even make much sense right now - not that it ever does really. I think she definitely knows that I like her by now. What guy would drive 40 minutes to pick up a girl (whom he has recently befriended) if he didn't have a inkling of interest in her. Most girls would have deduced that by now! Am I right? Right or not I'm sleepy and my bed awaits me.

8:48am my Phone is blaring my SMS tone - it's one of those tones that is hard to miss - that tone that you can hear a mile away and the same tone you get pissed off at when you hear someone else's phone blaring it in the office. I wake up barely. Think to myself oh it must be Maria my Graphic designer answering my request for a job. Either that or it's Marco with Shenton's reply to my idea on my sales pitch for tickets to the NBL game. So you could imagine my surprise when I fumbled to get the message up and it wasn't them.

Amazingly, it was neither person, it wasn't even business and it sure wasn't Optus informing that they have extended 'Yes' time once again nor was it some untimely SMS spam that I get from time to time. No, it was 'her' the one I am not so obsessed about. I eyeballed the message. It read "Hallo. What r ü up to tonight?" I was like huh? Went back to bed. Then waking up a bit more. Thinking to myself, did I just dream that message?. So I got out of bed yet again, barely, found my phone, and fumbled to look for her message. There it was, the message was from her and it said what I initially thought I had dreamt. I'm looking at it again and it's not me dreaming! Actually I called her up after going back to sleep for another 10 minutes where I just laid there and couldn't go back to sleep even though I felt dead tired. So I decided to call her in my deep manly morning voice.

The following is almost what was said in our conversation - I'm pretty sure I left out some bits. But the general information is still intact.

Her: Hello!
Me: *deep manly morining voice* Hey (I sound dead)
Her: How are you?
Me: Tired. You woke me up with your message.
Her: Oh sorry!
Me: No that's all right. So wassup?
Her: Oh nothing. I was just messaging everyone to see what they're doing tonight.
(She receives an SMS and excuses herself to reply it)
Her: So what are you doing tonight?
Me: Nothing I don't think? Why? What are you up to?
Her: Oh I have to work and then I'm going to go to a surprise party and then my friends are heading to the city and my cousin has this YFC (Youth For Christ) thingy to go to that ends at 1am. But I don't want to go to that. I don't want to go home at 1am!
Me: Yeah. Well do you want to come clubbing with me and some friends?
Her: Yeah OKAY!
Me: Okay cool... *moan tiredly as I stretch* ermm sorry about that. I'll have to get back to you on that though because I was asked by my friend to come along but I don't know if things have changed or not.
Her: Yeah cool thanks!

Anyways since my interest in her has declined somewhat these days. I was thinking that this isn't any sign of interest in myself rather it was her asking for a ride home. Although I didn't include some of the stuff said in that conversation (if I did it would be very long to write out), but some of the hints made me think she just wanted a lift home. Oh man and I agreed to it. Man women are such good manipulators. I just agreed to be used and I was happy about it well for awhile. I guess I could tell her that I don't want to go clubbing in the city and see what she says. Actually I don't want to go to the city. I wasn't going to reply my friend about tonight's outing and I wonder why I don't have any friends in Sydney! hehehe... I'm so slack!

I think I might do some chores now.

This song basically sums up what I was feeling for the past two weeks...

Baby... I'm too lost in you... Caught in you... Lost in everything about you .... so deep ... I can't sleep... I can't think... I just think about the things that you do... I'm too lost in you... (too lost in you)

Well that's not the whole song. Here's the whole song by the Sugarbabes - Too Lost In You


You look into my eyes
I go out of my mind
I can't see anything
Cos this love's got me blind
I can't help myself
I can't break the spell
I can't even try

I'm in over my head
You got under my skin
I got no strength at all
In the state that I'm in

And my knees are weak
And my mouth can't speak
Fell too far this time

Chorus:
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

ooh
Well you whispered to me
And I shiver inside
You undo me and move me
In ways undefined
And you're all I see
And you're all I need
Help me baby (help me baby)
Help me baby (help me now)

Cos I'm slipping away
Like the sand to the tide
Flowing into your arms
Falling into your eyes
If you get too near
I might disappear
I might lose my mind
oooh

Chorus:
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

I'm going crazy in love for you baby
(I can't eat and I can't sleep)
I'm going down like a stone in the sea
Yeah, no one can rescue me
(No one can rescue me)
ooh ooooh

Oooh, my baby
Oooh, baby, baby, baby

Chorus:
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you (too lost in you)
oooh

I'm lost in you
I'm lost in you
I'm lost in everything about you
So deep (so deep), I can't sleep (no,no,no)
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)


This week I'm a bit better - less of a nut - less of a fool

I was coming home from Kellyville and took the 'back roads', I'm turning out of my friend's street and a car is in front of me. I'm planning on taking the 'short cut' out of his block and was surprised to see the car taking the exact way out. Going along Windsor Road and up that bend towards Schofield Road, I notice this car is taking the exact route out of Kellyville. For those of you who don't know Schofield Road, it's a pretty long bumpy country type road and it gets pretty dark because on both sides are farms or bushland. Schofield Road has is an 80 k zone, so I'm pushing down on my pedal going faster and faster but the car in front of me is like going 60... I'm like... oh crap.. hmmm so I drive pretty close to give them the idea that it's not a 60 zone. The driver moves up to about 70 k. There's another car behind who is driving pretty close to me. The car in front of me is driving a bit faster by now, probably around 75 k. I'm still a close distance away but within good controllable distance. He hits his indicator on pretty early except I didn't know this because I couldn't really see much in front of him and I knew I had a left turn (one of the few left turns on this road) so I followed him turning on my indicator since the car behind me is pretty close by. The car in front of me starts slowing down and so do I but I was going a little fast and made a pretty sharp turn all of a sudden the car in front of me pulls over. I'm like what the? I think he/she was freaked out by me driving too close to them or following them for all that time. I didn't mean to freak them out. So I'm apologising on here although I doubt they'd ever see it hehehe.