Foolish Wisdom

Haven't really been in the mood to blog lately. The beginning of the week has been really bad for me.
Monday was just upsetting.

Tuesday I left my laptop at home and didn't find out until I got to work and getting out of my car and suddenly seeing someone with a laptop - I was like !!! ARGGGGGGHHH I forgot my laptop! Anyways $7.60 and an hour later - I turn up to work with my whole team already there - don't think my boss was impressed that I didn't call in to tell him where I was - (I don't have his mobile and I don't remember his ext number either - although I do now). If any of you know CSC it has only 600 carspaces to 1200 employees (I know stupid - but it's Council policy), so when I arrived again the whole carpark was completely full and was redirected to the carspaces we hired off another company - except that is like a short drive (long walk) from where my building is. By the time it was time to go home the skies darkened and rain was everywhere. I didn't bring an umbrella so I got quite moist when I got to my car. Tuesday was definitely crappy!

Wednesday, now Wednesday was quite bad because never in my professional life have I been yelled at. It wasn't actually someone yelling at me face to face it was some guy on the phone. To appreciate the story you have to go back to last friday. My team leader says to me that I have to watch out of an email being sent by a Roger. Anyways I didn't get this email of his until 5:25pm. I must've briefly looked over it but never read it in detail. Monday came and I got in at 9:30am. I never read it again. Come Wednesday afternoon, I get a call from him. At first of course I have no idea who he is.

Phone conversation:
me: CSC, Tony speaking.
roger: Can I speak to Tony please.
me: I'm Tony, how can I help you?
roger: Hello Tony, I'm Roger Forrester.
me: Yes? How can I help you Roger?
roger: I'm Roger Forrester.
me: Okay - How can I help you Roger?
roger: I'm Roger Forrester! THE TEST MANAGER IN ADELAIDE!!!
me: Ohh sorry Roger, yes I know who you are now!
roger: How are the tests going?
me: Ermm tests? I don't think I've started them because I've been pretty busy
roger: What?!?!?! - Ah FUCK THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DONE MONDAY!!!
me: Monday?
roger: YES MONDAY!!!!
me: *checking his email* but you only sent me the email friday afternoon
roger: Have you talked to James?
me: No he hasn't approached me
roger: oh fuck... *hangs up*

Anyways after all that happens I was like. Holy shit. I just got yelled at. Although I do admit it was my fault for not reading his email properly - but I think he should've been more professional about his phone call. Plus his whole notion of time frames is way way off. I read the email in detail. He sent me the email Friday afternoon 5:25pm - his deadline was Monday 10am. Which is utterly stupid. I get in at 9:30am (like most of the support team). How am I supposed to do tests within 30mins. Wednesday was Hell!

Come Thursday I started talking to my Operations Manager about another problem and James (a project manager) was there. James started talking to me about Roger. He told me not to worry about Roger because Roger hasn't got a clue what's happening. James basically just told me he's a grumpy old fart and it wasn't my fault the deadlines weren't met simply because Optus (slackers hehehe) had not given us the content for the particular website nor the URLs to post the stuff we were supposed to be testing yet. James said he would've approached me anyways if the website was able to be tested. All that yelling and it turns out that it wasn't neccessary. My Operations manager (one of the top dogs in our dept) starting laughing so hard - I guess this happens a lot to new people - being yelled at by Roger.

Hmmm so glad I'm able to get that off my chest again (as I had already dumped this on some other people). Blog is good.

Summers will never warm my heart again.
Autumns will share my heart's pain.
Winters will mirror what's in my mind.
Springs just memories left behind.

To 'her' the one that will never be mine.

Lately...

Lately I've been taking people's jokes far too seriously. However, I think it's not just me being sensitive, I think it's also annoying when someone continuously makes insensitive jokes - I pretty much take them to heart. What hurts more is when it comes from someone you are friends with or consider friends with - up until now. Sure it's the Aussie way to put your mates down and it's sometimes recognised as Male bonding. I don't know about the other guys out there but I don't like it very much! Sure you might say I'm a bit of a lady, a bit of a girl when it comes to this issue but why does one find it enjoyable to put others down on sensitive issues as well. Does one feel like they'd be closer to a friend if they pay out on them? I'm not a invalid - but I'm quite sure if a person were friends with an invalid that they wouldn't start joking about their disabilities would they? Then why is it okay to joke about someone's negative points - especially ones they know are not easily fixed or impossible to fix.

Some of you may say GET OVER IT Tony! Sure! - I can be a man and get over it - But why should I get over it? Why do I have to be the one to accept this absurd behaviour amongst people I regard as friends? The issues I'm talking about isn't just a once off comment/joke - it's continuous, repetitive and tiring.

Sometimes, I feel that all I have is this blog. Oh and 'her' she's going to be listening to my problems tonight. Isn't she wonderful? She's on MSN now and she said she'd rather talk over the phone with me. Hey that's better than nothing.

(btw I just edited this blog because some of the stuff I said didn't make any sense - not that it makes too much sense now)

I had a slightly strange day at work today... not really sure what to make of it.

My operations manager today asked me to come see him. I was thinking "what could it be? could it be something about my new position as a support analyst? or maybe he's going to ask me to move to do some development!!! Yay!" As usual I'm pretty bad at predicting the future.

Op Boss: Tony... *points at the screen* Do you know these guys?
Me: Yes *puzzled look* I know Ken. Tim... Ermm oh yeah Tim.. I know Tim (the next comment slips out of my mouth) He's smells. Opps! Sorry *laughs nervously* I don't know Tim that much actually. I only know he smells - got pretty bad BO. Anyways what's this all about?
Op Boss: Well we're trying to pick some people over to do some development for us and we're wondering who to get so tell me more about them. Are they good?
Me: Ken yeah I know Ken, Ken's cool I've played skirmish with him. As for technical abilities he's been in defence for a long time. I'm not so sure about how he'd do in the application development area - but I'm sure he'd manage he's a smart guy. As for Tim like I said before I don't know him that well. I think he did a lot of testing.
Op Boss: Ah forget it. Tim won't be coming here then. *laughs*
Me: *confused look* Huh?
Op Boss: Yeah I don't want someone that stinks coming here!
Me: but ermm...
Op Boss: How about anybody else?
Me: Ermm... yeah I know someone perfect. Gordon Lam (hope he doesnt' mind me putting his name on the blog hehee) He's probably better than me with Java.
Op Boss: Cool. Thanks Tony!
Me: *still a little bit confused* Ermm okay, no probs.

I'm like what the!!! Hmmm okay I think I just stuffed up someone's chance to move into our area. I didn't mean to stuff him up like that. Holy Crap! But good thing is I got to recommend a friend and someone else I know. Although I didn't mean to recommend my friend at the expense of somebody else's career. However, Tim has has a lot of experience in Defence maybe I think he should just stick in defence or somewhere closer to systems engineering.

A little bit later on, I listen into my Team Leader's (differnt person to the Op Boss) conversation over the phone with a potential employee. Actually it was a job interview - because the job has only been listed internally not many people have applied for it. Anyways my team leader lets out this big sigh after talking to this guy and finds out that the guy is only interested in a short term position while he's on the bench. The applicant was actually from our branch in Newcastle and didn't really want to move to Sydney for the job. Which left us with a big headache because we're a bit short staffed in our team at the moment - plus I'm a newbie so more of a hinderance than help at the moment. My team leader looks over and goes to me "Hey Tony, do you know anybody that you would recommend in our team?" I'm like ermmm does it have to be internal?" He replies, "Nah, it's been advertised for 3 weeks internally, time it should be made external." So I say "Ohhh I do know someone from Brissy. He's a mate of mine who wanted to come down for ages but hasn't been able to - unless he found a job here." Then my team leader goes, "Perfect. That's cool then. Tell him to send me his CV and then we'll take it from there. Plus I prefer that people refer people that they know rather than us finding someone off the streets. That way the person who refers them would have to refer someone good or their reputation would be on the line." I laugh and say, "Yeah don't worry he's good - plus I want to keep my good reputation".

How's that for a strange day at work! In summary, I recommended 3 people for positions in our department and accidentally got one rejected. I do hope my friend from Brissy gets the job because I tried to get him a graduate job ages ago and he got screwed over by our HR dept (they're a bunch of idiots plus they control the graduate program). This time it's pretty much a direct hire, all we do is say this person is hired - HR you have no say because Tony recommended him, actually because you didn't do you're work properly we're going to pay Tony a spotters' fee of $1000. (CSC Company Policy fpr external employee recommendations) hehehe Yeah baby! *fingers cross that he gets the job* I could do with an extra $1000!!!

Hey all just thought I'd do some advertising here. Although I'm not sure how many people actually read this blog would be interested but can't blame a guy for trying. It's a breath of fresh air from the normal rants I have on here. :)

Hoopdreamz has a special discount for everybody! We're giving away vouchers that you can download from here and print out!!! The voucher allows the holder $10 admission (usually $30!!!!!!) to the Sydney Kings vs Victoria Giants game on the 18th Feb 2004 (Wednesday Night).

Here's the voucher you can download it by right click and 'save as'.

[click here 4 voucher in pdf] (better quality print - recommended)
[click here 4 voucher in jpg] (for people who can't open PDFs)


==============More Details================

ASIAN BASKETBALL CHALLENGE



PHILIPPINES vs CHINA

HOOPdreamz All Stars vs ACBA

Pre-game to the Sydney Kings vs Victoria Giants

18.02.04 Wednesday

Sydney Entertainment Centre



Organised by the Sydney Kings, the Asian Basketball Challenge will
feature a select group of Filipino-Australian basketball players who
have been chosen to represent the HOOPdreamz All Star Team. They will
challenge a team from China representing the Australian Chinese
Basketball Association. This is an exciting opportunity to promote
basketball within the Filipino and Chinese communities in Sydney, and
create inter-cultural ties.


LIMITED TICKETS

$10 per person (discounted from $30.00) - Secure your tickets by calling one of the numbers below. Or just print out the voucher and redeem your ticket for $10 at the box office. Redeeming tickets using vouchers is subject to availability - there are only a limited number of discounted tickets - so hurry!!!
[click here 4 voucher in pdf]
[click here 4 voucher in jpg]



GAME TIMES

Pre-game (Hoopdreamz Allstars vs ACBA) starts at 5:30pm

Main game starts (Kings vs Giants) at 7:30pm

For more information you can contact us on the below details

INFOLINE:

Marco 0410529484 Tony 0412903686

JD 0410598031 Roscille 041537820

Joanne 0410343187 Michell 0414798020

Ahhh it's early early Sunday morning and I just got back from my outing with 'her'. She kept calling me during the day to keep tabs on what was going to happen tonight. However, around 8pm she told me that she no longer was going to that surprise birthday party and that she had to work an extra hour. Then she goes she wants to go to that YFC thingy. So I offered to give her a lift from her work all the way in Ashfield (I live in Quakers Hill). This YFC is in Quakers Hill as well so that wasn't too much of a problem I suppose.

I got to Ashfield around 9:10pm. I gave her a call but she told me she had to work another 20 minutes. So I wandered around Ashfield, trying to find her work. I got bothered by some guy asking me for some change which was sort of disturbing so I decided that I had to find her workplace quickly. It wasn't hard finding her workplace. I went inside. She told me she'll be real quick. So anyways as time goes by she's finishing stuff off for her boss. And as she was working I stole a few glances at her. She is really quite cute - not that she's really really hot or anything but I think she's cute, sweet and she can really make me laugh. Humour is really important to me!

We finally arrive at the YFC thingy. It turns out a lot of people I know are there out in front of the entrance. Her cousins as well. I think everyone was surprised that I came (usually I don't go to these YFC/SFC/CFC things) and even more surprised when I arrived with 'her'. It was a very movie like situation. Even my drunk friend who pursued her on that historical night was there! And his face was like WTF?!?!? and "why is she with him?" was written all over this face of his. And I think he must've been thinking "ahhh Tony and 'her' must've went out on a Valentine's date or something". Later on in the night he kept asking me what I did earlier on during the day - I just told him "ah nothing much, cleaned the house and stuff".

In the course of the night nothing much happened really. We (her and me) played a little with balloons, hardly really talked much at YFC since it was quite loud. I think I was immensely bored - this is why I never go to these YFC/SFC/CFC type thingies. I didn't feel like dancing - it's weird I think I don't dance much these days because I don't drink much these days. It's a shame because she kept on asking me to dance - I just felt akward. So I just stood there. I've noticed something lately - I'm a pretty boring person, I've lost all means of holding an interesting light conversation face to face with another person. I was actually called 'quiet' by my new boss the other day. He doesn't even know me but his initial impression of me is that I'm quiet. Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm not quiet hehehe. But it's weird - I think I like that he thinks I'm quiet. Or maybe I have changed a bit with age - way way less extroverted and more introverted.

Coming back to the topic:
V-day 2004 - more successful than my other ones at least - I was out with a girl! (hahaha) It's not because I've been a dateless loser all this time (close to being one though) its just some strange coincidence that I've never had a gf around during V-day. So I've never in my life done anything romantic on V-day (not that tonite was very romantic). It's strange, I had a chance to buy her a rose tonight - but I chose not to. I just don't have the courage. Why is it that doing silly things like jumping off moving trains (yes i've done that before stupid I know) doesn't terrify me but doing something like buying a flower does? Anyways analysing my life is very boring. I think I'm tired. My writing doesn't even make much sense right now - not that it ever does really. I think she definitely knows that I like her by now. What guy would drive 40 minutes to pick up a girl (whom he has recently befriended) if he didn't have a inkling of interest in her. Most girls would have deduced that by now! Am I right? Right or not I'm sleepy and my bed awaits me.

8:48am my Phone is blaring my SMS tone - it's one of those tones that is hard to miss - that tone that you can hear a mile away and the same tone you get pissed off at when you hear someone else's phone blaring it in the office. I wake up barely. Think to myself oh it must be Maria my Graphic designer answering my request for a job. Either that or it's Marco with Shenton's reply to my idea on my sales pitch for tickets to the NBL game. So you could imagine my surprise when I fumbled to get the message up and it wasn't them.

Amazingly, it was neither person, it wasn't even business and it sure wasn't Optus informing that they have extended 'Yes' time once again nor was it some untimely SMS spam that I get from time to time. No, it was 'her' the one I am not so obsessed about. I eyeballed the message. It read "Hallo. What r ü up to tonight?" I was like huh? Went back to bed. Then waking up a bit more. Thinking to myself, did I just dream that message?. So I got out of bed yet again, barely, found my phone, and fumbled to look for her message. There it was, the message was from her and it said what I initially thought I had dreamt. I'm looking at it again and it's not me dreaming! Actually I called her up after going back to sleep for another 10 minutes where I just laid there and couldn't go back to sleep even though I felt dead tired. So I decided to call her in my deep manly morning voice.

The following is almost what was said in our conversation - I'm pretty sure I left out some bits. But the general information is still intact.

Her: Hello!
Me: *deep manly morining voice* Hey (I sound dead)
Her: How are you?
Me: Tired. You woke me up with your message.
Her: Oh sorry!
Me: No that's all right. So wassup?
Her: Oh nothing. I was just messaging everyone to see what they're doing tonight.
(She receives an SMS and excuses herself to reply it)
Her: So what are you doing tonight?
Me: Nothing I don't think? Why? What are you up to?
Her: Oh I have to work and then I'm going to go to a surprise party and then my friends are heading to the city and my cousin has this YFC (Youth For Christ) thingy to go to that ends at 1am. But I don't want to go to that. I don't want to go home at 1am!
Me: Yeah. Well do you want to come clubbing with me and some friends?
Her: Yeah OKAY!
Me: Okay cool... *moan tiredly as I stretch* ermm sorry about that. I'll have to get back to you on that though because I was asked by my friend to come along but I don't know if things have changed or not.
Her: Yeah cool thanks!

Anyways since my interest in her has declined somewhat these days. I was thinking that this isn't any sign of interest in myself rather it was her asking for a ride home. Although I didn't include some of the stuff said in that conversation (if I did it would be very long to write out), but some of the hints made me think she just wanted a lift home. Oh man and I agreed to it. Man women are such good manipulators. I just agreed to be used and I was happy about it well for awhile. I guess I could tell her that I don't want to go clubbing in the city and see what she says. Actually I don't want to go to the city. I wasn't going to reply my friend about tonight's outing and I wonder why I don't have any friends in Sydney! hehehe... I'm so slack!

I think I might do some chores now.

This song basically sums up what I was feeling for the past two weeks...

Baby... I'm too lost in you... Caught in you... Lost in everything about you .... so deep ... I can't sleep... I can't think... I just think about the things that you do... I'm too lost in you... (too lost in you)

Well that's not the whole song. Here's the whole song by the Sugarbabes - Too Lost In You


You look into my eyes
I go out of my mind
I can't see anything
Cos this love's got me blind
I can't help myself
I can't break the spell
I can't even try

I'm in over my head
You got under my skin
I got no strength at all
In the state that I'm in

And my knees are weak
And my mouth can't speak
Fell too far this time

Chorus:
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

ooh
Well you whispered to me
And I shiver inside
You undo me and move me
In ways undefined
And you're all I see
And you're all I need
Help me baby (help me baby)
Help me baby (help me now)

Cos I'm slipping away
Like the sand to the tide
Flowing into your arms
Falling into your eyes
If you get too near
I might disappear
I might lose my mind
oooh

Chorus:
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

I'm going crazy in love for you baby
(I can't eat and I can't sleep)
I'm going down like a stone in the sea
Yeah, no one can rescue me
(No one can rescue me)
ooh ooooh

Oooh, my baby
Oooh, baby, baby, baby

Chorus:
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you (too lost in you)
oooh

I'm lost in you
I'm lost in you
I'm lost in everything about you
So deep (so deep), I can't sleep (no,no,no)
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)


This week I'm a bit better - less of a nut - less of a fool

I was coming home from Kellyville and took the 'back roads', I'm turning out of my friend's street and a car is in front of me. I'm planning on taking the 'short cut' out of his block and was surprised to see the car taking the exact way out. Going along Windsor Road and up that bend towards Schofield Road, I notice this car is taking the exact route out of Kellyville. For those of you who don't know Schofield Road, it's a pretty long bumpy country type road and it gets pretty dark because on both sides are farms or bushland. Schofield Road has is an 80 k zone, so I'm pushing down on my pedal going faster and faster but the car in front of me is like going 60... I'm like... oh crap.. hmmm so I drive pretty close to give them the idea that it's not a 60 zone. The driver moves up to about 70 k. There's another car behind who is driving pretty close to me. The car in front of me is driving a bit faster by now, probably around 75 k. I'm still a close distance away but within good controllable distance. He hits his indicator on pretty early except I didn't know this because I couldn't really see much in front of him and I knew I had a left turn (one of the few left turns on this road) so I followed him turning on my indicator since the car behind me is pretty close by. The car in front of me starts slowing down and so do I but I was going a little fast and made a pretty sharp turn all of a sudden the car in front of me pulls over. I'm like what the? I think he/she was freaked out by me driving too close to them or following them for all that time. I didn't mean to freak them out. So I'm apologising on here although I doubt they'd ever see it hehehe.